I like to look out my blinds and look at the grass move with the transparent wind. How it looks so bright and green with the obvious sun. I like to look at it and reassure it with my smile that someone out there can appreciate its simplicity and beauty, even if it cannot acknowledge my thoughts. But just like us, human beings, if it is not controlled, it can become untamed, overbearing and unclean. But maybe like us, somehow, some way it’s supposed to be like that. I’m taking a minute to just sit, breathe, look around and absorb. Do I have something to do? Yes, tons actually. Can this count as being unproductive? Yes, too many people would think so. Does this help my sanity? I’m beginning to believe so.
Our thoughts are funny. Some make more sense than others. They can sometimes overlap, be repetitive or just be contradicting. Wish I had a mind-magnifying glass. Wish I could pass by someone and hold the magnifying glass up to their head as they pass… wouldn’t that be something. Why would I, you ask? Because I care. Because I’m curious. Because it comes from the most complicated thing in the world, the mind.
I’m going to graduate….no, not tomorrow but in December. I will become part of the University of Florida Alumni. What will I take with me from this? Well, I can’t tell you. I think only time can tell. I went to Colombia before returning to UF. I felt completely different than I had ever felt when visiting. I realized with my family getting older, there will come a time when I will have no reason to visit and then what? I’ve gone to Colombia every year since I was born. What will happen to my kids? What will happen to my country? Will it all just become memories? The result will be simple. What ever I make of it. It really lies all on me. When I get older and have a salary, will I save and go on my own to a country that has brought so much joy to my soul? Will I save and buy myself pretty things instead? I don’t know, but wouldn’t it be sad if I did. My father, who passed away exactly a year ago, would have liked to think that I was above material things. Wouldn’t we all like to say that we are above all petty things?
Let’s see how this semester goes. Let’s hope I don’t forget my Italian. Let’s believe I did my best here and above else, let’s hope I don’t forget anything I experienced during my college years.